The semester is over and my journey as a blogger has come to an end for now. Thank you all for joining me on this wild ride of learning how to express myself and my passion for the game I love. Stepping outside of my comfort zone to write down my thoughts is something I never saw myself doing. Never say never I suppose. Enjoy your summers and may God bless you all. Until next season?
-Augie
To my beloved parents,
A simple thank you is not enough. You guys did everything you could to make my dreams a reality. Endless hours on the road driving me to team practice, hitting lessons, pitching lessons, and work out sessions. Dedicating your summers to let me travel across the country for showcase tournaments. To the late nights and early mornings, you both always put me and my dreams first. I will forever be grateful to you and your selflessness.
You taught me to stand tall and confident. As long as I put in the work, I could do anything I set my mind to. You taught me the sky is the limit. When I doubted myself, you were there to put me in my place and show me what I was capable of. You challenged me to always expect more from myself, elevate those around me, and never be satisfied.
You’ve never missed a game. Even if you weren’t there in person, you were following along the live streams or play-by-plays. God has blessed me with two of the most dedicated, amazing parents a kid could have. I would not be where I am today without your guidance and love. I love you guys endlessly. Thank you for being you and letting me be me.
Love always,
Maddog.
In a world put on hold by this pandemic, most of us are figuring out ways to fill our once busy schedules and how to keep outlooks on life positive. It is easy to look at social distancing as frustrating or monotonous, but we have been granted this time to self improve. Since there is no softball to talk about, I am going to talk about how a world with out it has helped me grow. Here are seven self improvements I started since quarantine began.
Remember that perspective always leads to the outcome. The glass is always half full. Remember that and life will shine bright like it never has before. That is all the Augie Tea for today. See you next time.
Hi, Augie bloggers! I wanted to announce a short update on my athletic status in light of this season being lost due to COVID-19. As I told you in a previous post, the NCAA granted a year of eligibility back to all Spring athletes who lost the majority of their seasons due to this pandemic. Many universities are still trying to figure out financial logistics, Fordham among them. However, my coaches have asked me back for my fifth year and I, of course, said yes. I am also happy to announce that today I was accepted into Fordham University’s Public Media Master’s Program. I am honored to have been chosen and beyond excited to further my education in strategic communication.
I am among the most fortunate of athletes in this situation and I realize that most others are still in a sea of uncertainty and stress. My position has not been made official but, hopefully, in the upcoming days it is put into writing and I can focus on making myself as prepared as possible for what the future holds for me. My heart is filled with joy and love at the fact that I will most likely get to come back to Fordham and play alongside my beloved teammates for one final hoo-rah! That is all the Augie tea for today. Until next time!
Hello again, everyone! We are roughly a month into a world without live sporting events. Being an athlete for 18 years, I have some great, good, bad, and down right ugly memories to share. Today’s post will do a shallow dive into the darker side of my time as an athlete. Here are the three most heartbreaking moments I’ve had as a student athlete:
3. March 2019- I Thought I Had a Season Ending Injury.
The last preseason tournament of my junior season I had tweaked my knee to a point where I could not walk without a severe limp. I was sent to get an MRI and once I got back my trainer took me into her office and shut the door. She had a talk with me that I would probably need surgery because she was 98% sure that I had completely torn my meniscus. She told me to prepare myself for the worst news possible and get my emotions in check at the possibility my season was over. Luckily, she was wrong and I did not need surgery right away and that pain and heartbreak only lasted for an hour or so. But, when I tell you I went to my locker room and cried like my family member had just died I am not exaggerating. If one of my compliance supervisors had not heard me and comforted me I would have probably had an anxiety attack and who knows what could’ve happened.
2. 2020 Spring Season Cancelled Due to COVID-19.
Preparing to end an accomplished and successful athletic career on top is something that took endless hours of blood, sweat, and tears. Not being able to leave the game on my terms was devastating. If we were not granted the year back I truly believe I would be in deep depression right now. For many athletes, our sport is our safe space. Softball was my first love and has taught me more than any other thing that has been a part of my life. It was like losing a loved one when the news first broke. Never knowing what the 2019-2020 Fordham Softball Team could have accomplished makes me lose sleep at night.
We were the number one seed going into the tournament and had the “easiest” route to go 3-0. We ended up losing the first game of the tournament which sent us to the elimination bracket where we would have to fight and grind our way back to the championship game. The true teamwork and buy-in to the journey that I felt from every single one of my teammates is something that gives me goosebumps every time I think about it. We beat UMASS in order to face off against SJU, who we run-ruled, and then went on to face off against GW, who we would have to beat them twice in order to take home the hardware. They took an early 2-0 lead but we were able to come back and end up on top with a 5-2 victory that forced a rubber match. There was a forecast for torrential down pour the entire day so the Atlantic 10 decided to cancel the game and name us “CO-Champions”. We were the number one seed so we still went on to the NCAA tournament but there was not a dry eye on the bus ride home. The fact we had to share the title with a team who had not beaten us at our best all season left a bitter taste in every single person’s mouth on that bus. Not being able to play that last championship game with the senior class who had been my rock since I came to Fordham left a pit in my stomach I cannot begin to explain. Here is something to put it into perspective; my senior season was cancelled and this moment is still what hurts the most when I think about it.
This past Monday the NCAA Division I Council granted the waiver to allow additional eligibility for spring sport athletes whose seasons were impacted by COVID-19. The official statement says:
“The Council’s decision gives individual schools the flexibility to make decisions at a campus level. The Board of Governors encouraged conferences and schools to take action in the best interest of student-athletes and their communities, and now schools have the opportunity to do that.”- M. Grace Calhoun
Universities will not have a scholarship cap for the 20-21 season and will be allowed to use NCAA’s Student Assistance Fund for student athletes who choose to use the year of eligibility for athletes whose “clocks” would otherwise be exhausted.
While the granted eligibility is something all athletes have been sitting at the edge of their seats for, the lack of financial help from the NCAA is going to leave many athletes with the sad reality they cannot afford the year they have just been granted. The NCAA went with the option that left them “safe”, not with the option that had their athletes at the forefront of their minds. The money is in the hands of administrators, from what I understand of the ruling, and not just granted to the coaches. And coaches no longer have to match the scholarship senior athletes were getting in their first four years. It is a stressful time for a lot of us because, unfortunately, the power is still not in our hands. We are praying that our universities will give us back what we gave them these last four years. But, with the financial strain that COVID-19 has put on most universities it is not looking likely.
What better way to reminisce than to think about my most memorable game day experiences? Here are my five favorite game day memories:
5. My First College Start
My freshman year we opened up our season at the University of Arizona. The first game of the season was against Baylor University and immediately following we were scheduled to play Arizona. Any coach at any school will tell you that you always want to start your season off on the right note. So, of course, Bridget gave the start against Baylor to our ace, senior stud Lauren Quense. That left me with the Friday night light, season and home opener, against the #10 team in the country. It was being thrown in to the fire in the most amazing way possible. How many people get to have that cool of a first college start? The nostalgic vibes coming from the stadium of one of the best softball programs in history, hundreds of senior citizens (they had an older fan base) yelling at me from the sold out seats above, and the Arizona sun setting behind me. It still gives me goose bumps today.
Out here warming up in sunny AZ for the kickoff of our 2017 season vs Baylor at the Hillenbrand Invitational #RamReady #FUSB pic.twitter.com/qJOFj7Sk0j
— Fordham Softball (@FordhamSoftball) February 9, 2017
4. My First A10 Championship
Most of my favorite game day memories are from tournament play. Post season is what we work for as soon as we step foot onto campus in August. And, more so my freshman year than any other in my life I had to grind to get a spot in our starting lineup. Our senior class that year is arguably the best class Fordham softball has ever had. Every single one of them were studs. We had pitching, we had power, we had speed, we had defense, and we had a veteran starting lineup(a recipe for success). By the time A10 tournament play had hit I was able to secure a starting spot in right field and the #9 spot in our batting lineup. On championship Sunday we were set to face off against our conference rival UMASS. We were undefeated in the tournament up to that point so UMASS would have had to have beaten us twice in order to advance to the NCAA Regionals. Long story short, a ball was hit to me and as I was running back for it it tipped off my glove and rolled to the fence. That is how they scored the runs to top us in game one. In game two we went into extra innings and I was able to come through for my teammates and get the game winning hit for my seniors. We weren’t that close of a team that year but the amount of love and true joy we had in each others company as we brought the hardware back home to the Bronx was a beautiful feeling and something that will always warm my heart when I think about it.
Pure joy.. SPORTS 👀 @atlantic10 CHAMPION @FordhamRams #dancin 💃 @NCAAsoftball pic.twitter.com/n4DpZ5PONC
— Rob Baxter (@bxtraining) May 14, 2017
3. Our Win Over UMASS at A10s Last Year
There is not much to say other than it’s always sweet to beat your rival on their home turf. Both teams were sent to the elimination bracket and were facing off to keep our seasons alive. There was rain delay after rain delay and we never lost focus. We played our best softball of the year that game and it was the spark plug for the rest of our post season run last year. Everyone stepped up to the challenge and contributed to that victory. It was a true team win.
#AUGHINBOMB https://t.co/wFD0nSCDES
— Fordham Softball (@FordhamSoftball) May 10, 2019
2. Quense’s Grand Salami
Anyone on field that would tell you this moment gives them chills whenever it comes up in conversation. It was championship Saturday and we needed one dub to bring home the hardware. Can you guess who we were playing? (If you guessed UMASS, you were correct) Lauren Quense comes up to bat with bases loaded and two outs. She hits an absolute BOMB over center field fence. Her last hit on the field she gave everything to was a dinger that ended up being the difference maker in our victory. It was poetic.
Lauren Quense's GRAND SLAM helped lift @FordhamSoftball to the Atlantic 10 title! pic.twitter.com/M09qYwwxJR
— NCAA Softball (@NCAAsoftball) May 13, 2018
Winning is always fun. But winning the A10 Championship with your friends and family spread throughout the stadium cheering you on at your home field is something else. Going to Howl and celebrating with everyone you love and are thankful for is something I’ll cherish for the rest of my life. And, on top of that, we were the underdogs that year. Anyone would tell you that UMASS should have won. They went undefeated in conference and overall had better team stats than us. But that did not matter. We defeated the odds and came together to bring home the bling. This is easily the best memory I have on a softball field.
Behind-the-scenes, sneak peek 👀 at four days of exciting #A10SB action from the Bronx! #A10CHAMPS 🏆 @fordhamsoftball @umasssoftball @flyersoftball @masonsoftball @SLUsoftball @gw_softball
— Atlantic10Conference (@atlantic10) May 21, 2018
Watch the full 🎥 here: https://t.co/71jIXauFI5 pic.twitter.com/Kv0rzcdZA5
Hello, Augie bloggers. One week ago today the NCAA officially cancelled all remaining play for 2020 Spring and Winter sports. While this is a small tragedy in the grand scheme of devastation caused by COVID 19, it doesn’t make it any less heartbreaking or gut-wrenching to the players, coaches, support teams, and families directly impacted by this decision. The amount of blood, sweat, and tears that goes into preparing for season is far beyond the daily physical and mental grind we all sign up for. Every year, every group of girls, and every grind is different. The one constant that remained true for me during my four years at Fordham was the fact that each group of girls became family. We got through the mountains and valleys of season so we could uphold the Fordham legacy together in May. And to not be able to do that with these girls in, potentially, my last season makes my heart ache in pain.
Unfortunately this is the reality for me and tens of thousands of other athletes and we cannot control it. Global health is, and should be, top priority. So while it is easy to mope and fall into a woe is me mentality I am choosing to use this post as a way to explain my view on the one positive thing that has come from all of this: perspective. Often times we take things we love and care about for granted. COVID 19 has slapped us in the face with the sad reality that at any moment the things or people you love can be taken away from you. Here are 3 things, from an athletes’ perspective, that should never be taken for granted ever again:
This seems so obvious, I know. But we’ve all been there when the night game finishes two hours late, it’s 35 degrees and windy, and to top it off we have to be up at 6:00 AM for a double-header. This was actually part of the scenario for what I had no idea would be my last game day of the season. We didn’t have the late night game but we were up super early on the third day of the weekend (fellow softballers we all know Sundays in preseason are a grind). And don’t get me wrong, it would be unnatural to be all sunshine and rainbows with no complaints. But I would literally sell my kidney if that meant I got to be on the field playing with those girls right now. That might be a little exaggerated but you get my point. Going into every game with the mentality of “if this was my last game ever, would I be satisfied?”. Because while we cannot control freak injuries or pandemics we can control our attitude and our effort. Making sure you do everything you can to appreciate where you are and make the most of it regardless of how you are doing statistically, because what you do individually means nothing if you aren’t doing everything else behind the scenes to elevate your team to the next level. Do you think people will care about my batting average or ERA 5 years from now? No. They’ll salute the ice on my fingers(aka my three A10 rings) and what I accomplished alongside my teammates.
2. Weights and Conditioning
We were going through security at John F. Kennedy airport at around 11:15 AM when the news broke that preseason play had been suspended due to the COVID 19 outbreak. We sat at baggage claim for over an hour, dispersed, and met up again at 5:00 PM on the bleachers of Rose Hill Gym to be told our season was cancelled. Through all of that I had maintained composure. A couple tears in the airport but that was it. It wasn’t until our strength trainer, Josh, told us we were welcome to come in and lift the following day that my heart felt like it stopped inside my chest. And some of you might think I’m weird or crazy that that sentence is what hit home the hardest. Who cares about weights or wants to run a Liverpool, right? But that weight room is where we become a family, where the selfishness subsides and selflessness steps in. We learn to fail and rise above it together in that room. And the thought of never again having my teammates screaming at me and cheering me on to beat my Hang Clean max or have Josh yell at us to get lower on squats when our butts are touching the floor made me lose it. Competing with each other and making each other better day in and day out in that room is something I took for granted. I never thought of it as something I would miss most. Josh and the high standard he has for us is at the core of what sets our mentality away from the rest and is an essential part of what is so beautiful about Fordham softball. So never wish away a 6:00 AM lift or an outside conditioning session in the cold rain. It’s a privilege.
3. Cafe Dates
Cafe dates consist of the majority of the team and last no less than an hour. They are filled with a whole lot of ridiculous conversations, laughs, and recaps of crazy things that happened that weekend or during that particular day. Cafe dates might be specific to Fordham but any team at any school can and should learn to appreciate their teammates and the time they have with them more. Because they are more than just teammates. All of my closest friends are current or past Rammies. It’s easy to say that you spend so much time with each other that space is what’s needed. I say wrong. You only get a short amount of time with them and you should make the most of it. They won’t be down the hall or a dorm over from you forever. Spend that extra five minutes in the locker room while your two teammates show off their new dance moves. Go out to dinner with the freshman you barely know anything about and enjoy each other’s company. Sit next to someone at the airport rather than putting your headphones in and cancelling out the world. Because all of these opportunities go away faster than you’d think. I will always be the first to tell you that I am not good at expressing emotion or expressing how much the people I care about mean to me and that is one thing I would definitely do a better job of if I am blessed enough to get to go back for a last year of eligibility.
Those are three of the hundreds of things that this devastating time has given me perspective on and I hope there is at least one thing that can help anyone who has read this. In regards to future posts, if any one has topics they want to be discussed or tips they want to hear about please write in the comments. Since season has been cut short I am going to run out of ideas to talk about. Thanks for reading! That is all the Augie tea we have for today. Until next time.
Hello again,
I am currently on a plane headed to San Francisco, California for a weekend of games at Fresno State University. I decided not to share this post onto my personal social media accounts because the situation being discussed is a personal thought rather than general wisdom and encouragement. I have also found that I don’t necessarily like the recognition I got from my first two blog posts. It was a lot to handle and, in the end, distracting from what I need to accomplish week in and week out for my teammates and for myself. Obviously, some damage is done because I can’t hide the link to my page from the world but I am not going to advertise it like I had been doing up until now.
My team and I had a lot in common last week. We heated up as the weekend went on. Our opening game against Valparaiso was the most mental I had been since 14u ASA states. It was just after the semi final game against Lakeshore Lightning. I had pitched that game and we barely came out with a victory. I was not myself. The pressure of having to be on my A game every single inning was really getting to me. One of my biggest strengths and flaws is how hard I am on myself and I couldn’t accept that I was struggling to perform as something that could happen to me. Anyways, my mom could see it all over my face that I was not okay and not having any amount of fun whatsoever. The game I loved had become a chore to me because I forgot how to have fun with it. I was so concerned with being the best. With being perfect. That being said, she took me into this huge indoor facility right next to the field we were playing at in Laurel, MD. There was a gymnastic tournament going on. My mom took me into the locker room where all of these insanely talented female athletes were getting ready. Makeup and hair styled to perfection. And then there is me, hair a mess, tears running down my face, and dirt all over my uniform from the game I had just finished playing. It’s hilarious to look back on now but boy was this an embarrassing moment in the life of Madie Aughinbaugh. My mom turns on one of the showers in the locker room and holds my uniform while I sit there, under the hot water trying to get my shit together. She got me to stop taking myself so seriously and to just have fun with the game again. Thank you, Dana.
Fast forward eight or so years and I felt like I was back in that moment last Friday against Valparaiso. I let the pressure of the standard people have, and what I expect of myself, get to me. I was trying to do everything all at once and not trusting in my teammates to get the job done right alongside me. Putting all that weight on my shoulders to be the level of good that people expected and be the leader I want to be for my team left me at the opposite end of the goal I had set in place. Thankfully, once again, I had another strong female, my head coach, to help me pull my shit together and stop taking myself so seriously. In between games I had my mental breakdown and she helped me get through it. My mental weekend was cut short to a mental game. The reason I chose to write about that this week is so I have the mental reminder, when I need to look back, that no one succeeds on their own. “The lone wolf dies in the bleak, dark winter but the pack survives”.
“The pack survives” ties into the team struggle we faced this weekend as well. Fordham softball is known for being gritty and team oriented. We have one of the best dynamics I have ever witnessed in all of my years of sports. And, based off of other friends and siblings’ experiences, it seems to be an overarching fact that Fordham softball emulates one of the best atmospheres for success an athlete can find. We are a team through and through. We do it for each other and that is what makes us so good. And that quality lacked this weekend. We had teammates that were stuck in their woes, teammates yelling at one another, and overall a lack of accountability. Three one-run losses that could have favored our way if we had figured out how to come together through personal failure in order to find team success. Thankfully, we began to do that on Sunday and we came out with a dub. As a captain, I had trouble figuring out how to deal with this situation. How do you tell someone to be better mentally when they are struggling so much physically? It’s like walking on eggshells because you mean well but one wrong word and you’ve completely devastated their confidence. Angry Augie came out and, while my words rang true, I could’ve gone about it in a better way. It was a solid temporary fix. And, now, I am working on the long-term fix and how to help lead my team back into pack mentality. I think we are 95% there and once we get the last 5%, the world ain’t ready. That is all the Augie tea we have for today. Until next time.
Hello again, friends. I promised to share some mental struggles with you and I am fulfilling that promise much sooner than I anticipated. The Augie tea for the week dives into my confrontation with this simple fact: people love asking me questions on how I feel about my softball career coming to an end. Rather than complain that people care enough to ask how I am feeling (because it’s awesome to have people that love and care about me, and I know their hearts are in a good place) I am going to share how I am approaching my senior campaign and my perspective as to why.
February 7, 10 a.m. marks the moment I’ve been working towards since the flight home from Seattle last May. February 7th marks the start of softball season. Sporadically throughout our preseason training, my teammates would blindside me with the cannon ball of a question, “how do you think you’re going to handle this (my softball career) being over?” The sweetest woman on Earth, my Grandee, calls me randomly to see if my spirits are high because it is all coming to a close. In trying to give them decent responses to questions I hadn’t spent much time thinking about, I realized how damaging it could be to the mental side of my game to put an emphasis on the end. What happens when we harp on losing something we hold so close to our hearts? Inevitably, nostalgia hits and our minds fill with devastating clouds of sadness. We get stuck thinking about the unavoidable facts of the future rather than being in the moment and appreciating the now.
My coaches brought in a guest speaker, Tony Abbatine, several weeks back to help us with the “visual” side of hitting. This guy’s claim to fame is putting an emphasis on staying in “open space” during an at-bat. Open space is most easily explained by this quote from MLB legend, Manny Ramirez, “when I see nothing, I see everything”. At first that seems to be an abstract, philosophical thought far beyond the simple idea of sports. But, as you sit and ponder, it makes perfect sense. I play my best softball when my mind is equally focused on the positioning of the defense, the subtle cheats of a pitchers windup, and the balanced swaying of my bat loosely gripped between my fingers all at once. I am completely aware of the game.
I bring the concept of open space up now because I find it to be equivalent to fully embracing the moment in front of you. Thoughts of the past and ideas of the future are no where in sight. Your mind is fully appreciating the now. Appreciating the now is my mantra for my senior campaign. I am one of the few women who have been given the opportunity to live my dream and compete at the highest level. There are thousands of young girls who would kill for this experience that, whether it be talent level, health issues, or some other reason, will never be able to walk in my foot steps. And as we get older and other important things come into our lives, we lose sight of softball being our escape from reality. So often we find ourselves dreading that conditioning session after a heavy squat day or counting down the seconds until practice is over. In fact, this was my biggest hurdle to jump over my freshman year of college. I lost the genuine appreciation for being able to do what I loved day in and day out. It wasn’t until halfway through spring semester my freshman year that I realized how stupid I was to have wasted so much time being ungrateful to be able to do what I loved every day. We had just beat Dayton in a walk-off win and my teammate, Madi Shaw, gave a dope speech at the end of the game that brought me back to life. She played the game with a level of passion I had never seen. She had the heart and she had the talent, oh my gosh was she a beast with the bat. Thanks to her no more time was wasted. She showed me the key to greatness was finding that love again. Because when you are fully invested and passionate in what you do nothing can stop you. Going to practice everyday happy and ready to get after it makes life as an athlete-student, it is advertised as student-athlete but don’t get it twisted (not a complaint, I wouldn’t have it any other way), so much better. And as you get older you realize how quickly this all goes. I vividly remember my first college start like it was yesterday. No one prepares you for how fast it goes. So the sooner you learn to appreciate the now, the less you will regret.
I will leave you with you the “why” to my mantra of appreciating the now. Plainly put, college athletes are taught to focus on controlling what we can control. Can I control that my time as a competitive athlete is going to come to an end? No. My teammate blew out her knee during conference play last year and her season got cut short. I bring this up because the blunt reality is, more times than not, we don’t get a say. The saying is “God laughs when we plan”, right? Each day I get to pick up a softball and wear the number 7 on my back is a blessing. It’s a waste of my time and energy to get stuck thinking about the end when 1) I can’t control it and 2) I have so much softball still left to play. One day at a time and one pitch at a time is where I am at right now. Tomorrow I’ll be headed to Houston. And that, my friends, is all the Augie tea we have for today. Until next time.
The Green Tea Chronicles